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How Do I Cope with My Husband's Infidelity?
Learning of a husband's infidelity can be one of the most traumatic things a woman can go through. Marriage is a big investment for women. It is usually more of an investment for a woman than for a man. This is evidenced by infidelity statistics which show men are far more likely to cheat than women. If you've been cheated on, it is a sickening realization that something you put so much into (your marriage) apparently didn't mean as much to the other party.
There are many ways to cope with this life-shattering reality. The purpose of this article is to help you cope in a healthy and productive manner, not a counter-productive one that leads to more pain down the road.
Needless to say, when you first learn of your husband's infidelity you will be quite upset. You have every right to feel this way. Initially, it will be best to have some time away from him in order to fully express your feelings. Don't hold back how you are feeling. It is perfectly natural to feel angry, but it is perfectly unnatural to avoid expressing this anger. The anger is going to come out one way or another: either now as anger (a natural emotion) or later as rage (an unhealthy emotion).
Express how you are feeling. Call someone who you know will listen. Get it all out. Heck... have a few cocktails. Now is not the time to hold back. Once you've gotten your anger out of your system you'll be able to move on and begin to understand what happened.
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Read Books or Websites
In the wake of infidelity, you will inevitably begin to feel alone. Thoughts will ring in your mind like, "why did this happen to me?" It is important to realize that you are not alone. There are literally hundreds of publications written by women who have experienced the same thing you're going through. What's helpful is that these women experienced it and lived to tell about it. Search on Amazon for some books or do a Google search for things like "surviving marital infidelity". You'd be surprised how many resources are out there. Reading the words of someone who has experienced what you're going through is the best way to realize that you're not alone.
Avoid Self-Destructive Behavior
Being cheated on is a jolt to one's self-worth. In times like these, it can seem desirable to "take others down with you", so to speak. Some women have done this by engaging in a sexual relationship with another man in the immediate aftermath of learning their husband was unfaithful. But two wrongs do not make a right. Make a declaration of your true self worth. A value that is higher than the one expressed by your cheating husband. Don't stoop to his level. Take the high road and respond to the situation in the most valuable way possible. When the dust settles, it will make him all the more regretful.