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Should a Cheating Man Confess?

There is a fine line between being honest with a person for your own relief and benefit, and being honest with them for theirs. This crucial issue is given a thorough examination, but is tempered by the fact that human beings are quite able to accept each other’s faults, when honesty prevails in a timely manner.

I did it

It’s easy for a man to confess the lies that he tells himself, but far harder for him to confess the truth , which possibly explains why only 16% of men confess their cheating to their partner .

When humans foresee a threat, they prepare for a fight or a desperate flight from certain defeat by a clearly superior adversary, and so often the cheating man sees only two alternatives, to lie and confuse the victim while still diffusing her anger, or to tell the truth and risk even worse consequences.

Yet, for her own well being, the victim may be wise to let nature take its course in this unfortunate predicament, and listen patiently without engaging too actively in the process of confession.

Knowing too little or knowing too much about a partner’s infidelity can be harmful to the victim, as their imagination runs wild to torment them and may even cause memory trauma .

Telling more lies

It seems logical to find that once trust is betrayed, the healing process would probably begin with a confession to the victim. Some would advise that it is far better to confess a transgression of this sort, before the victim discovers the infidelity of her own accord . Still it is advised that a confession not be selfishly made, purely to make the perpetrator feel better, as a confession places an enormous emotional weight upon the victim, and difficult consequences lie ahead for both partners due to this unfaithfulness.

Odd as it may seem to advocate further deception, there is value to sparing the already betrayed victim of infidelity more harm, particularly if the acts of infidelity have spanned a large period of time. Human beings after all, have limits to the emotional and physical damage they can withstand at any one time.

Certainly, an honest appraisal and discussion about the relationship is warranted, but if the innocent party is yet uninformed, there seems little merit in devastating her simply in the interest of a healthy discussion . A healthy airing of the relationship is possible without this. Particularly if the perpetrator is willing to discuss his feelings frankly, this may provide a healthy new direction for the couple, which due to the infidelity itself, may well involve a parting of ways.

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Forgiveness

Remarkably, 16% of women state that they would forgive their cheating partner if it was a short one night affair .

This provides inescapable evidence that is far better for a cheating man to confess his infidelity as soon as it occurs, before it has the opportunity to grow and develop a far larger capacity to hurt the innocent victim. On this basis, human beings can empathize with each other, forgive each other, and truly accept each other’s shortcomings.

Certainly when confessing here, a man who has cheated must be absolutely honest. To hold back something at this point, is to make your spouse more vulnerable .

Relationships take courage and effort, and this is clearly depicted in the case where one party has failed the other, and has the prospect of confessing their misdeed immediately, or allowing the lie to grow into a potential relationship breaker.

Resources:

http://www.davesdaily.com/interesting/women-men-cheating.htm
http://changingminds.org/explanations/brain/fight_flight.htm
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/husband_not_confess.html
http://menstuff.org/issues/byissue/cheating.html
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2294/is_55/ai_n19492624/pg_12
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/ask_an_expert/infidelity/husband_not_confess.html
Three Surefire Signs Your Partner is cheating
Find out for sure if your partner is being faithful

 

 
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