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You Just Found Out He's Cheating
You just found out that your guy, your baby, is cheating. It feels like you just got sucker punched in the gut a hundred times. As much as this hurts, and it does hurt, you realize that you are not surprised. It actually felt more like a confirmation of what you already knew than a news flash.
Once the initial waves of pain and nausea subside there is an unexpected sense of calm and peacefulness that washes over you. This numbness is a welcome alternative to the chaos that gripped your heart and soul. This feeling will come and go. For the first few weeks or months after finding out that what you have been feeling was real, you can expect to go back and forth between these feelings, and more. You may even start to wonder if it was better not knowing. But somewhere deep down, you know there is no going back now. This changes everything, and will keep changing everything, until everything in your life seems different, even you.
During this time it will seem like your mind is your worst enemy. Most of your thoughts start to resemble mini assaults that come at you when you are least expecting them. You are now forced to face the truth that what you thought of as yours, is really not, and even worse, may belong to somebody else.
Now that you have this new information you have more questions than you ever imagined you could. You feel desperate for answers, but you know the answers are not going to make you feel any better. One of the biggest questions is why. Why did he put it all on the line to be with somebody else? Why doesnít he love you anymore? And before you have the chance to really think about if you still want to be with him anymore, you want to know if he still wants to be with you.
Possibly the most confusing part about this time is the feeling that you want him to comfort you. But it is completely normal to feel this way. He has been the one you have gone to for everything from a flat tire to a bad day, so you canít expect it to change overnight. What you can expect is that you will go through the stages of grief. The longer you were with your guy, and the more committed you thought the relationship was, the more this infidelity will feel like a death. Even if it turns out that this is not the death of the relationship, it is the death of the relationship as you knew it. The temptation to let your guy be the one to give you comfort should be resisted until you are absolutely sure you want to stay in the relationship. The decision to stay should come from a clear mind, and not a broken heart. None of us want to feel pain and when we are in the throes of it we are likely to do anything to stop it. Being cheated on, causes injury to our heart, it is supposed to hurt. Masking that pain with a temporary numbness only prolongs the time it will take to heal.
It is very possible to rise out of this painful situation a stronger better version of yourself.