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What to Do About Cheating?

So you just found out your man is cheating. Most of you feels like you just took a kick to the stomach, but a small part of you feels relief. At least now your suspicions are confirmed. At least now you know for sure and don't have to continue wondering. One thing is for sure: this changes everything. Nothing will be the same between the two of you again. So the question remains: where do you go from here?

Some of you already know the immediate answer to that question while others are wondering if reconciliation is possible. Whatever you choose to do, you must do whatever feels right to you. Now is precisely the time you want to listen to that little voice in your head. It might not always be saying what you want to hear, but it is saying what's best for you.

If you are thinking of trying to reconcile with your cheating man and the little voice is telling you otherwise, listen to the little voice! More than friends and family, that little voice is the best ally you have in a time like this.

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You'll be getting a lot of advice from friends who think they know what's best for you. Some of them probably do, but many of them don't. In these situations, everyone comes out of the woodwork to offer their opinion. It can be overwhelming, so if you need to, shut out people in your life from whom you do not care to hear from at this time.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is get some space. Get some space away from the cheating man and away from the sea of people ready to give you their two cents about your situation. You need to get to a place where you can be alone with your thoughts and the company of a couple of true friends.

Expect to feel confusion in this time as you desire comfort from the person who cheated on you. The longer the two of you were together, the more intense this feeling may be. It is painful to be cheated on so let it be painful! This is part of the healthy healing process. Allowing the cheating man or a "rebound" man to comfort you is not in your best long term interests. This is a time to be self-dependent and work through things on your own.

If you are tempted to reconcile with the cheater, remind yourself that: you should have no reason to expect that this won't happen again. No matter what he says or how charming or apologetic he may be, once a cheater always a cheater. So weigh the pros and cons. Are the pros of being with this man worth dealing with the con of knowing (for now, just assume that you know) he will cheat on you again? If you can't answer yes to that question then it is time you give serious consideration to moving on with your life.

If you decide to move on, the best way to do it is by having a clean break. A clean break is the absolute best way to move on from your cheating man. If you continue communicating with him or allow him to have another chance, you are doing exactly what he wants. It cannot be stressed enough: if you have decided to leave the cheating man, you need to cease all communication with him immediately. Enlist the help of a trusted friend to act as a liason between the two of you. Do absolutely everything you can to avoid seeing and communicating with him. It will be hard, very hard, but it is absolutely the best thing you can do for yourself in the long run.

Stay strong and best wishes!


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